Ponyboy's Reality Check
by xXBlackBloodAngelXx
Summary: The Gang decides to read Ponyboy's theme...but what they don't know is Pony killed off two people who didn't die! Warning: rated for self-harm. Poor, Poor Ponyboy... This is Pugpie15 I just changed my pen name.
1. Chapter 1

**I love this book so I'm writing about how the gang reacts to Ponyboy's inner thoughts and feelings. Johhny and Dally are alive Ill explain everything in the story...**

**Disclaimer: I no own the Outsiders...**

The last bell of the schoolday rang and it was a relief to Ponyboy Curtis. His English Teacher was handing back their semester themes and he wanted to get his and burn it as soon as possible. Pony only knows one thing for certain: He can not, under any circumstances let the Gang read it. The idea was to take a real life event and spice it up to make a better story, he did his a little too well. He wordlessly walked behind everyone else to the classroom door where everyone was getting their Themes back.

"Mr. Curtis," Mr. Symes, Ponyboy's English teacher called, "Please stay after class a moment!" This wasn't good at all. Pony just wanted to burn the stupid theme. Burn it and get it over with.

"Yes, Mr. Symes?"

"Reading over all the themes I've noticed that your's by far the most depressing. I want you to have your brother sign this," He handed Pony a letter, "It just to tell him that the state may eventually have a problem if this isn't cleared up right away."

Ponyboy felt mortified. How was he supposed to give this to Darry. Darry-Suddenly his theme was snatched out of his hands and held high above his head.

"Give that back, Two-Bit!" Pony shouted, but Two-bit was already long gone. Pony realized then that he would have to face the fact that the Gang probably was going to read it now.

_(Ponyboy's POV)_

I ran home as fast as I could, but Two-Bit still got there before me. I walked in the door to see what kind of torture awaited me. The whole Gang is here, and also Tim Shepard. That's Just Great! I walk in to see Two-Bit handing my theme to Darry.

"Pony, come over here...What in the world is this?" Darry said in a quiet voice.

"It's my semester theme..."I say quietly. I shoot a glare towards Two-bit. He sees it and gives me a chessy grin.

"It has all of our names in it I think we should read it and see what Pony thinks of all of us." Two-bit says with. I honestly can't tell whether he's drunk or not. "Chapter 1-" He starts reading, but I tackle him before he can start really reading. Darry and Tim grab and seperate us. Dally grabs the book.

"Now I want to know what's in this here book of yours and everyone is going to sit down and listen!" Dally yelled.

I sat between Darry and Soda, Two-Bit sat on the floor, Steve sat in a chair next to Soda, and Johny sat on the couch between Dally and Tim.

"Okay," Dally began, "Chapter 1..."

**I Smell a pro-logue...I'llupdate whenever I have time...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:I no own the Outsiders...**

"Okay", Dally began, "**Chapter 1."**

**WHEN I STEPPED OUT into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home.**

"Simple-minded aren't you, Ponyboy?" Tim snarked

**I was wishing I looked like Paul Newman- he looks tough and I don't- but I guess my own looks aren't so bad. I have light-brown, almost-red hair and greenish-gray eyes. I wish they were more gray, because I hate most guys that have green eyes, **

"Hey, What's wrong with guys with Green eyes?" Tim Yelled.

"I don't know I just don't like them...I don't trust people with green eyes, I don't trust them one bit..." Pony replied.

Johnny looked at his best friend worriedly.

Soda took a mental note on talking to Pony about judging people.

**but I have to be content with what I have. My hair is longer than a lot of boys wear theirs, squared off in back and long at the front and sides, but I am a greaser and most of my neighborhood rarely bothers to get a haircut. Besides, I look better with long hair. **

Pony shivered as he remembered what he looked like with short hair.

**I had a long walk home and no company, but I usually lone it anyway, for no reason except that I like to watch movies undisturbed so I can get into them and live them with the actors. When I see a movie with someone it's kind of uncomfortable, like having someone read your book over your shoulder. I'm different that way. I mean, my second-oldest brother, Soda, who is sixteen-going-on-seventeen, never cracks a book at all, and my oldest brother, Darrel, who we call Darry, works too long and hard to be interested in a story or drawing a picture, so I'm not like them. And nobody in our gang digs movies and books the way I do. For a while there, I thought I was the only person in the world that did. So I loned it. **

Dally stopped reading for a moment to stare at Ponyboy. That's kust one weird kid, Dally thought.

**Soda tries to understand, at least, which is more than Darry does. But then, Soda is different from anybody; he understands everything, almost. Like he's never hollering at me all the time the way Darry is, or treating me as if I was six instead of fourteen. I love Soda more than I've ever loved anyone, even Mom and Dad. He's always happy-go-lucky and grinning, while Darry's hard and firm and rarely grins at all. But then, Darry's gone through a lot in his twenty years, grown up too fast. Sodapop'll never grow up at all. I don't know which way's the best. I'll find out one of these days. **

Darry grimaced at Pony's description of him.

"Wait a minute, shouldn't it be 4 instead of 6?"

Two-bit's face was met with a pillow thrown by the youngest Curtis brother.

**Anyway, I went on walking home, thinking about the movie, and then suddenly wishing I had some company. Greasers can't walk alone too much or they'll get jumped, or someone will come by and scream "Greaser!" at them, which doesn't make you feel too hot, if you know what I mean. We get jumped by the Socs. I'm not sure how you spell it, but it's the abbreviation for the Socials, the jet set, the West-side rich kids. It's like the term "greaser," which is used to class all us boys on the East Side. **

"What's wrong with being called a greaser?" No one answered Dally's obvious question.

**We're poorer than the Socs and the middle class. I reckon we're wilder, too. Not like the Socs, who jump greasers and wreck houses and throw beer blasts for kicks, and get editorials in the paper for being a public disgrace one day and an asset to society the next. Greasers are almost like hoods; we steal things and drive old souped-up cars and hold up gas stations and have a gang fight once in a while. I don't mean I do things like that. Darry would kill me if I got into trouble with the police. Since Mom and Dad were killed in an auto wreck, the three of us get to stay together only as long as we behave. So Soda and I stay out of trouble as much as we can, and we're careful not to get caught when we can't. I only mean that most greasers do things like that, just like we wear our hair long and dress in blue jeans and T-shirts, or leave our shirttails out and wear leather jackets and tennis shoes or boots. I'm not saying that either Socs or greasers are better; that's just the way things are. **

"D*** straight!"

**I could have waited to go to the movies until Darry or Sodapop got off work. They would have gone with me, or driven me there, or walked along, although Soda just can't sit still long enough to enjoy a movie and they bore Darry to death. Darry thinks his life is enough without inspecting other people's. Or I could have gotten one of the gang to come along, one of the four boys Darry and Soda and I have grown up with and consider family. We're almost as close as brothers; when you grow up in a tight-knit neighborhood like ours you get to know each other real well. If I had thought about it, I could have called Darry and he would have come by on his way home and picked me up, or Two-Bit Mathews- one of our gang- would have come to get me in his car if I had asked him, but sometimes I just don't use my head. It drives my brother Darry nuts when I do stuff like that, 'cause I'm supposed to be smart; I make good grades and have a high IQ and everything, but I don't use my head. Besides, I like walking. **

"Why would you like walking?" Tim asked still upset by the whole green eyes thing.

"It's almost as great as running!"

**I about decided I didn't like it so much, though, when I spotted that red Corvair trailing me. I was almost two blocks from home then, so I started walking a little faster. I had never been jumped, but I had seen Johnny after four Socs got hold of him, and it wasn't pretty. Johnny was scared of his own shadow after that. Johnny was sixteen then.  
I knew it wasn't any use though- the fast walking, I mean- even before the Corvair pulled up beside me and five Socs got out. I got pretty scared- I'm kind of small for fourteen even though I have a good build, and those guys were bigger than me. I automatically hitched my thumbs in my jeans and slouched, wondering if I could get away if I made a break for it. I remembered Johnny- his face all cut up and bruised, and I remembered how he had cried when we found him, half-conscious, in the comer lot. Johnny had it awful rough at home- it took a lot to make him cry. **

"Really now Pony? We never would've guessed!" Dally proceeded to kick Two-bit in the back of the head.

**I was sweating something fierce, although I was cold. I could feel my palms getting clammy and the perspiration running down my back. I get like that when I'm real scared. I glanced around for a pop bottle or a stick or something- Steve Randle, Soda's best buddy, had once held off four guys with a busted pop bottle- but there was nothing. So I stood there like a bump on a log while they surrounded me. I don't use my head. They walked around slowly, silently, smiling.  
"Hey, grease," one said in an over-friendly voice. "We're gonna do you a favor, greaser. We're gonna cut all that long greasy hair off."  
He had on a madras shirt. I can still see it. Blue madras. One of them laughed, then cussed me out in a low voice. I couldn't think of anything to say. There just isn't a whole lot you can say while waiting to get mugged, so I kept my mouth shut.**

"Yeah you do that real good..." Soda punched his best friend in the arm.

**"Need a haircut, greaser?" The medium-sized blond pulled a knife out of his back pocket and flipped the blade open.  
I finally thought of something to say. "No." I was backing up, away from that knife. Of course I backed right into one of them. They had me down in a second. They had my arms and legs pinned down and one of them was sitting on my chest with his knees on my elbows, and if you don't think that hurts, you're crazy. I could smell English Leather shaving lotion and stale tobacco, and I wondered foolishly if I would suffocate before they did anything.**

Darry shivered at the thought of his baby brother wanting to suffocate.

**I was scared so bad I was wishing I would. I fought to get loose, and almost did for a second; then they tightened up on me and the one on my chest slugged me a couple of times. So I lay still, swearing at them between gasps. A blade was held against my throat.  
"How'd you like that haircut to begin just below the chin?"  
It occurred to me then that they could kill me. **

Everyone stared startled by Pony's Blunt thoughts.

**I went wild. I started screaming for Soda, Darry, anyone. Someone put his hand over my mouth, and I bit it as hard as I could, tasting the blood running through my teeth. I heard a muttered curse and got slugged again, and they were stuffing a handkerchief in my mouth. One of them kept saying, "Shut him up, for Pete's sake, shut him up!"**

"Good-one Ponyboy!"

For the first time that afternoon everyone agreed with Two-bit.

**Then there were shouts and the pounding of feet, and the Socs jumped up and left me lying there, gasping. I lay there and wondered what in the world was happening- people were jumping over me and running by me and I was too dazed to figure it out. Then someone had me under the armpits and was hauling me to my feet. It was Darry.  
"Are you all right, Ponyboy?"  
He was shaking me and I wished he'd stop. I was dizzy enough anyway. I could tell it was Darry though- partly because of the voice and partly because Darry's always rough with me without meaning to be. **

Darry looked down at his shoes.

**"I'm okay. Quit shaking me, Darry, I'm okay."  
He stopped instantly. "I'm sorry."  
He wasn't really. Darry isn't ever sorry for anything he does. It seems funny to me that he should look just exactly like my father and act exactly the opposite from him. My father was only forty when he died and he looked twenty-five and a lot of people thought Darry and Dad were brothers instead of father and son. But they only looked alike- my father was never rough with anyone without meaning to be.  
Darry is six-feet-two, and broad-shouldered and muscular. He has dark-brown hair that kicks out in front and a slight cowlick in the back- just like Dad's- but Darry's eyes are his own. He's got eyes that are like two pieces of pale blue-green ice. They've got a determined set to them, like the rest of him. He looks older than twenty- tough, cool, and smart. He would be real handsome if his eyes weren't so cold. He doesn't understand anything that is not plain hard fact. But he uses his head. **

Everyone winced at Pony's description, even Tim.

**I sat down again, rubbing my cheek where I'd been slugged the most.****  
****Darry jammed his fists in his pockets. "They didn't hurt you too bad, did they?"****  
****They did. I was smarting and aching and my chest was sore and I was so nervous my hands were shaking and I wanted to start bawling, but you just don't say that to Darry.****  
****"I'm okay."**

"Pony, You tell me when you're hurt, Got it?!"

"Yeah Darry..."

**Sodapop came loping back. By then I had figured that all the noise I had heard was the gang coming to rescue me. He dropped down beside me, examining my head.  
"You got cut up a little, huh, Ponyboy?"  
I only looked at him blankly. "I did?"  
He pulled out a handkerchief, wet the end of it with his tongue, and pressed it gently against the side of my head. "You're bleedin' like a stuck pig."  
"I am?"  
"Look!" He showed me the handkerchief, reddened as if by magic. "Did they pull a blade on you?"  
I remembered the voice: "Need a haircut, greaser?" The blade must have slipped while he was trying to shut me up. "Yeah." **

"Again, Slow!"

**Soda is handsomer than anyone else I know. Not like Darry- Soda's movie-star kind of handsome, the kind that people stop on the street to watch go by. He's not as tall as Darry, and he's a little slimmer, but he has a finely drawn, sensitive face that somehow manages to be reckless and thoughtful at the same time. He's got dark-gold hair that he combs back- long and silky and straight- and in the summer the sun bleaches it to a shining wheat gold. His eyes are dark brown- lively, dancing, recklessly laughing eyes that can be gentle and sympathetic one moment and blazing with anger the next. He has Dad's eyes, but Soda is one of a kind. He can get drunk in a drag race or dancing without ever getting near alcohol. In our neighborhood it's rare to find a kid who doesn't drink once in a while. But Soda never touches a drop- he doesn't need to. He gets drunk on just plain living. And he understands everybody. **

I never realized how much the kid Idolized me, Soda thought.

**He looked at me more closely. I looked away hurriedly, because, if you want to know the truth, I was starting to bawl. I knew I was as white as I felt and I was shaking like a leaf.  
Soda just put his hand on my shoulder. "Easy, Ponyboy. They ain't gonna hurt you no more."  
"I know," I said, but the ground began to blur and I felt hot tears running down my cheeks. I brushed them away impatiently. "I'm just a little spooked, that's all." I drew a quivering breath and quit crying. You just don't cry in front of Darry. Not unless you're hurt like Johnny had been that day we found him in the vacant lot. Compared to Johnny I wasn't hurt at all. **

"NEVER THINK THAT EVER AGAIN!" the whole room shouted at Pony.

**Soda rubbed my hair. "You're an okay kid, Pony."  
I had to grin at him- Soda can make you grin no matter what. I guess it's because he's always grinning so much himself. "You're crazy, Soda, out of your mind."  
Darry looked as if he'd like to knock our heads together. "You're both nuts."  
Soda merely cocked one eyebrow, a trick he'd picked up from Two-Bit. "It seems to run in this family." **

"HEY"

"Ewww Curtis Love!"

**Darry stared at him for a second, then cracked a grin. Sodapop isn't afraid of him like everyone else and enjoys teasing him. I'd just as soon tease a full-grown grizzly; but for some reason, Darry seems to like being teased by Soda. **

"Gee thanks Pony"

"Sorry Darry, this was when I thought you hated me."

**Our gang had chased the Socs to their car and heaved rocks at them. They came running toward us now- four lean, hard guys. They were all as tough as nails and looked it. l had grown up with them, and they accepted me, even though I was younger, because I was Darry and Soda's kid brother and I kept my mouth shut good. **

"That's not True, Ponyboy, we like you for you not your brothers!" Everyone was shocked because this surprisingly came from Dally.

"What I Care!"

**Steve Randle was seventeen, tall and lean, with thick greasy hair he kept combed in complicated swirls. He was tacky, smart, and Soda's best buddy since grade school. Steve's specialty was cars. He could lift a hubcap quicker and more quietly than anyone in the neighborhood, but he also knew cars upside-down and backward, and he could drive anything on wheels. He and Soda worked at the same gas station- Steve part time and Soda full time- and their station got more customers than any other in town. Whether that was because Steve was so good with cars or because Soda attracted girls like honey draws flies, I couldn't tell you. I liked Steve only because he was Soda's best friend. He didn't like me- he thought I was a tag-along and a kid; Soda always took me with them when they went places if they weren't taking girls, and that bugged Steve. It wasn't my fault; Soda always asked me; I didn't ask him. Soda doesn't think I'm a kid. **

Soda growled at Steve and Steve inched away from him.

**Two-Bit Mathews was the oldest of the gang and the wisecracker of the bunch. He was about six feet tall, stocky in build, and very proud of his long rusty-colored sideburns. He had gray eyes and a wide grin, and he couldn't stop making funny remarks to save his life. You couldn't shut up that guy; he always had to get his two-bits worth in. Hence his name. Even his teachers forgot his real name was Keith, and we hardly remembered he had one. Life was one big joke to Two-Bit. He was famous for shoplifting and his black-handled switchblade (which he couldn't have acquired without his first talent), and he was always smarting off to the cops. He really couldn't help it. Everything he said was so irresistibly funny that he just had to let the police in on it to brighten up their dull lives. (That's the way he explained it to me.) He liked fights, blondes, and for some unfathomable reason, school. He was still a junior at eighteen and a half and he never learned anything. He just went for kicks. I liked him real well because he kept us laughing at ourselves as well as at other things. He reminded me of Will Rogers- maybe it was the grin. **

"Ohhhh Yeah!"

**If I had to pick the real character of the gang, it would be Dallas Winston- Dally. I used to like to draw his picture when he was in a dangerous mood, for then I could get his personality down in a few lines. He had an elfish face, with high cheekbones and a pointed chin, small, sharp animal teeth, and ears like a lynx. His hair was almost white it was so blond, and he didn't like haircuts, or hair oil either, so it fell over his forehead in wisps and kicked out in the back in tufts and curled behind his ears and along the nape of his neck. His eyes were blue, blazing ice, cold with a hatred of the whole world. Dally had spent three years on the wild side of New York and had been arrested at the age of ten. He was tougher than the rest of us- tougher, colder, meaner. The shade of difference that separates a greaser from a hood wasn't present in Dally. He was as wild as the boys in the downtown outfits, like Tim Shepard's gang.  
In New York, Dally blew off steam in gang fights, but here, organized gangs are rarities- there are just small bunches of friends who stick together, and the warfare is between the social classes. A rumble, when it's called, is usually born of a grudge fight, and the opponents just happen to bring their friends along. Oh, there are a few named gangs around, like the River Kings and the Tiber Street Tigers, but here in the Southwest there's no gang rivalry. So Dally, even though he could get into a good fight sometimes, had no specific thing to hate. No rival gang. Only Socs. And you can't win against them no matter how hard you try, because they've got all the breaks and even whipping them isn't going to change that fact. Maybe that was why Dallas was so bitter.  
He had quite a reputation. They have a file on him down at the police station. He had been arrested, he got drunk, he rode in rodeos, lied, cheated, stole, rolled drunks, jumped small kids- he did everything. I didn't like him, but he was smart and you had to respect him. **

"You got that right!"

**ohnny Cade was last and least. If you can picture a little dark puppy that has been kicked too many times and is lost in a crowd of strangers, you'll have Johnny. He was the youngest, next to me, smaller than the rest, with a slight build. He had big black eyes in a dark tanned face; his hair was jet-black and heavily greased and combed to the side, but it was so long that it fell in shaggy bangs across his forehead. He had a nervous, suspicious look in his eyes, and that beating he got from the Socs didn't help matters. He was the gang's pet, everyone's kid brother. His father was always beating him up, and his mother ignored him, except when she was hacked off at something, and then you could hear her yelling at him clear down at our house. I think he hated that worse than getting whipped. He would have run away a million times if we hadn't been there. If it hadn't been for the gang, Johnny would never have known what love and affection are. **

"Did you really have to make me sound so wimpy, Pony?!" Johnny glared at his beat friend.

"Sorry Johnny..."

**I wiped my eyes hurriedly. "Didya catch 'em?"  
"Nup. They got away this time, the dirty..." Two-Bit went on cheerfully, calling the Socs every name he could think of or make up.  
"The kid's okay?"  
"I'm okay." I tried to think of something to say. I'm usually pretty quiet arotmd people, even the gang. I changed the subject. "I didn't know you were out of the cooler yet, Dally."  
"Good behavior. Got off early." Dallas lit a cigarette and handed it to Johnny. Everyone sat down to have a smoke and relax. A smoke always lessens the tension. I had quit trembling and my color was back. The cigarette was calming me down. **

"You're quitting smoking, Ponyboy!" Darry said authoratively.

"Sooooooodaaaaaaaaaaa!" Ponyboy whined.

"Sorry, but you smoke more than Two-bit drinks, I'm not helping you this time..."

"Hmmph!" Ponyboy pouted.

**Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow. "Nice-lookin' bruise you got there, kid."  
I touched my cheek gingerly. "Really?"  
Two-Bit nodded sagely. "Nice cut, too. Makes you look tough."  
Tough and tuff are two different words. Tough is the same as rough; tuff means cool, sharp- like a tuff-looking Mustang or a tuff record. In our neighborhood both are compliments.  
Steve flicked his ashes at me. "What were you doin', walkin' by your lonesome?" Leave it to good old Steve to bring up something like that. **

Soda glared at Steve.

**"I was comin' home from the movies. I didn't think..."  
"You don't ever think," Darry broke in, "not at home or anywhere when it counts. You must think at school, with all those good grades you bring home, and you've always got your nose in a book, but do you ever use your head for common sense? No sirree, bub. And if you did have to go by yourself, you should have carried a blade."  
I just stared at the hole in the toe of my tennis shoe. Me and Darry just didn't dig each other. I never could please him. He would have hollered at me for carrying a blade if I had carried one. If I brought home B's, he wanted A's, and if I got A's, he wanted to make sure they stayed A's. If I was playing football, I should be in studying, and if I was reading, I should be out playing football. He never hollered at Sodapop- not even when Soda dropped out of school or got tickets for speeding. He just hollered at me. **

Darry finally saw how hard he had been on Pony.

**Soda was glaring at him. "Leave my kid brother alone, you hear? It ain't his fault he likes to go to the movies, and it ain't his fault the Socs like to jump us, and if he had been carrying a blade it would have been a good excuse to cut him to ribbons."  
Soda always takes up for me.  
Darry said impatiently, "When I want my kid brother to tell me what to do with my other kid brother, I'll ask you-kid brother." But he laid off me. He always does when Sodapop tells him to. Most of the time. **

"OOOOOOOH" Tim was hit with a pillow.

**"Next time get one of us to go with you, Ponyboy," Two-Bit said. "Any of us will."  
"Speakin' of movies"- Dally yawned, flipping away his cigarette butt- "I'm walkin' over to the Nightly Double tomorrow night. Anybody want to come and hunt some action?"  
Steve shook his head. "Me and Soda are pickin' up Evie and Sandy for the game."  
He didn't need to look at me the way he did right then. I wasn't going to ask if I could come. I'd never tell Soda, because he really likes Steve a lot, but sometimes I can't stand Steve Randle. I mean it. Sometimes I hate him. **

Soda punched steve square in the jaw and Steve flew out of his seat.

**Darry sighed, just like I knew he would. Darry never had time to do anything anymore. "I'm working tomorrow night."  
Dally looked at the rest of us. "How about y'all? Two-Bit? Johnnycake, you and Pony wanta come?"  
"Me and Johnny'll come," I said. I knew Johnny wouldn't open his mouth unless he was forced to. "Okay, Darry?"  
"Yeah, since it ain't a school night." Darry was real good about letting me go places on the weekends. On school nights I could hardly leave the house.  
"I was plannin' on getting boozed up tomorrow night," Two-Bit said. "If I don't, I'll walk over and find y'all." **

"Since when are you not?" Steve asked sarcasticly.

**Steve was looking at Dally's hand. His ring, which he had rolled a drunk senior to get, was back on his finger. "You break up with Sylvia again?"  
"Yeah, and this time it's for good. That little broad was two-timin' me again while I was in jail." **

"Slut..." Dally ground out.

**I thought of Sylvia and Evie and Sandy and Two-Bit's many blondes. They were the only kind of girls that would look at us, I thought. Tough, loud girls who wore too much eye makeup and giggled and swore too much. I liked Soda's girl Sandy just fine, though. Her hair was natural blond and her laugh was soft, like her china-blue eyes. She didn't have a real good home or anything and was our kind- greaser- but she was a real nice girl. Still, lots of times I wondered what other girls were like. The girls who were bright-eyed and had their dresses a decent length and acted as if they'd like to spit on us if given a chance. Some were afraid of us, and remembering Dallas Winston, I didn't blame them. But most looked at us like we were dirt- gave us the same kind of look that the Socs did when they came by in their Mustangs and Corvairs and yelled "Grease!" at us. I wondered about them. The girls, I mean... Did they cry when their boys were arrested, like Evie did when Steve got hauled in, or did they run out on them the way Sylvia did Dallas? But maybe their boys didn't get arrested or beaten up or busted up in rodeos. **

"So you do think about Girls, Ehhh, Pone?" Soda snickered.

"Shut up Sodapop!" Pony yelled his ears red.

**I was still thinking about it while I was doing my homework that night. I had to read Great Expectations for English, and that kid Pip, he reminded me of us- the way he felt marked lousy because he wasn't a gentleman or anything, and the way that girl kept looking down on him. That happened to me once. One time in biology I had to dissect a worm, and the razor wouldn't cut, so I used my switchblade. The minute I flicked it out- I forgot what I was doing or I would never have done it- this girl right beside me kind of gasped, and said, "They are right. You are a hood." That didn't make me feel so hot. These were a lot of Socs in that class- I get put into A classes because I'm supposed to be smart- and most of them thought it was pretty funny. I didn't, though. She was a cute girl. She looked real good in yellow. **

"DON'T SAY A WORD..." Pony hissed.

Everyone gulped. An angry Curtis was a dangerous Curtis.

**We deserve a lot of our trouble, I thought. Dallas deserves everything he gets, and should get worse, if you want the truth. And Two-Bit- he doesn't really want or need half the things he swipes from stores. He just thinks it's fun to swipe everything that isn't nailed down. I can understand why Sodapop and Steve get into drag races and fights so much, though- both of them have too much energy, too much feeling, with no way to blow it off.**

"OWWWW, Soda he didn't even say anything bad about me this time."

"Sorry force of habit!" Soda replied in a sickly sweet voice, smiling brightly.

**"Rub harder, Soda," I heard Darry mumbling. "You're gonna put me to sleep."  
I looked through the door. Sodapop was giving Darry a back-rub. Darry is always pulling muscles; he roofs houses and he's always trying to carry two bundles of roofing up the ladder. I knew Soda would put him to sleep, because Soda can put about anyone out when he sets his head to it. He thought Darry worked too hard anyway. I did, too. **

"TAKE MORE DAYS OFF!" Pony and Soda yelled together.

**Darry didn't deserve to work like an old man when he was only twenty. He had been a real popular guy in school; he was captain of the football team and he had been voted Boy of the Year. But we just didn't have the money for him to go to college, even with the athletic scholarship he won. And now he didn't have time between jobs to even think about college. So he never went anywhere and never did anything anymore, except work out at gyms and go skiing with some old friends of his sometimes. **

"Thanks Pony."

" 'Welcome Dar"

**I rubbed my cheek where it had turned purple. I had looked in the mirror, and it did make me look tough. But Darry had made me put a Band-Aid on the cut.  
I remembered how awful Johnny had looked when he got beaten up. I had just as much right to use the streets as the Socs did, and Johnny had never hurt them. Why did the Socs hate us so much? We left them alone. I nearly went to sleep over my homework trying to figure it out.  
Sodapop, who had jumped into bed by this time, yelled sleepily for me to turn off the light and get to bed. When I finished the chapter I was on, I did. **

"Okay, No one say a word on this next part." Pony snarled.

**Lying beside Soda, staring at the wall, I kept remembering the faces of the Socs as they surrounded me, that blue madras shirt the blond was wearing, and I could still hear a thick voice: "Need a haircut, greaser?" I shivered.  
"You cold, Ponyboy?"  
"A little;" I lied. Soda threw one arm across my neck. He mumbled something drowsily. "Listen, kiddo, when Darry hollers at you... he don't mean nothin'. He's just got more worries than somebody his age ought to. Don't take him serious... you dig, Pony? Don't let him bug you. He's really proud of you 'cause you're so brainy. It's just because you're the baby- I mean, he loves you a lot. Savvy?"  
"Sure," I said, trying for Soda's sake to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. **

Ouch, thought Darry, I need to reassure him that I really do care.

**"Soda?"  
"Yeah?"  
"How come you dropped out?" I never have gotten over that. I could hardly stand it when he left school.  
" 'Cause I'm dumb. The only things I was passing anyway were auto mechanics and gym."  
"You're not dumb."  
"Yeah, I am. Shut up and I'll tell you something. Don't tell Darry, though."  
"Okay."  
"I think I'm gonna marry Sandy. After she gets out of school and I get a better job and everything. I might wait till you get out of school, though. So I can still help Darry with the bills and stuff."  
"Tuff enough. Wait till I get out, though, so you can keep Darry off my back."  
"Don't be like that, kid. I told you he don't mean half of what he says..."  
"You in love with Sandy? What's it like?"  
"Hhhmmm." He sighed happily. "It's real nice."  
In a moment his breathing was light and regular. I turned my head to look at him and in the moonlight he looked like some Greek god come to earth. I wondered how he could stand being so handsome. Then I sighed. I didn't quite get what he meant about Darry. Darry thought I was just another mouth to feed and somebody to holler at. Darry love me? I thought of those hard, pale eyes. Soda was wrong for once, I thought. Darry doesn't love anyone or anything, except maybe Soda. I didn't hardly think of him as being human. I don't care, I lied to myself, I don't care about him either. Soda's enough, and I'd have him until I got out of school. I don't care about Darry. But I was still lying and I knew it. I lie to myself all the time. But I never believe me. **

"You're not Dumb Soda!"

"Yeah!" Everyone agrees.

Soda couldn't believe just how MUCH Pony looked up to him.

Darry, on the other hand, was worried about Pony Lying to himself so much.

"Okay" Darry says, " How a'bout we all eat lunch while I talk to Pony for a second."

Everyone nodded, but Pony gulped, He knew one thing and one thing only: This could not be good!

**How was that...please review I like to know if i'm satisfying the people who are reading this.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone thanks for all of the reviews and sorry about not spelling out that one swear word...my brother goes through my stuff and shows my parants what he finds, and I get in trouble when I swear. And the mistakes, what I write these on messes up some of the words.**

**Disclaimer:I no own the Outsiders, however, I do own the Black nail polish I just put on my mails...me and my Fangirl habits.**

**Chapter 3**

_**(Darry's POV)**_

"Hey Darry What's up?" Pony asked after me and Darry went up to his room. I, however was very annoyed. My brother was stalling, and that first chapter was just not right. It wasn't just the descriptions of me, but it was the entire first chapter just had a Pessimistic tone to it. It's been two months since Johnny got out of the hospital, but I've noticed that Ponyboy's still had a depressed outlook on everything.

"Pone," I sighed, "Do you have anything you want to tell me before we read the rest of your theme?" I asked him calmly. He pouted and then pulled a letter out of his pocket.

"My English Teacher told me to give this to you, today." He looked nervous and wouldn't look me in the eye.

I slowly opened and unfolded it It read:

_Dear Darrell Curtis,_

_I'm assume you have received Ponyboy's theme? The assignment was to take an actual experience you have had and to spice it up and give it more 's was by FAR the most depressing. I am beginning to worry about him. He has stopped taking notes or even paying attention in 's always makes sure he's the last one out of my classroom. His grades have dropped tremendously in all his classes. The problem that I happen to be most concerned about is that he has begun to display several signs of depression. If you don't do something soon, and someone besides myself takes notice, The state will have to take him away from you. Ponyboy is a bright young man and I know he will succeed in life. Good Luck._

_ Sincerely,_

I am left speechless. I would expect someone like...anybody but Ponyboy to fall into Depression. I aam so shocked I abruptly sit down. Pony...He's always been a shining light in everyone's world. I really wish Mom was here right now. She would lnow what to do.

I suddenly become aware of Sodapop walking through thee door.

"What's taking you so long up here? We wanna read the next chapter...What's wrong Darry, You're as white as a sheet?"

I wordlessly hand him the letter and he scanns through it. We he's finished he throws the letter down and throws himself at Ponyboy hugging him to death. I know by now that all three of us definantly need to talk.

"Soda...Darry...Are you mad at me?" comes Pony's voice only it's a lot quieter than usual and even a little skiddish.

"No Pony" Soda says through his sobs, "We just need you to know that you can always be able to tell us anything no matter what and we'll always support and understand you. Won't we Darry."

"Yeah, Pony you can tell us anything!" I guarantee.

"Anything?" He says sounding hopeful. We both nod soundlessly. "Okay..." Pony sighs and then starts rolling up his sleeves. What I see almost makes me lose my breakfast. Covering his arms are multiple cuts and burns. Soda gasps and launches himself at Pony again and starts bawling into his neck. I know by now more than a few tears have found there way down my face by now.

_**(Ponyboy's POV)**_

I promised myself I would show them one day and I guess today was that day. I need help. I admit that. I just feel like I deserve this. It was my fault that Bob had to die. That Johnny and Dally almost died. I can't handle the pain of the guilt I feel inside of me everyday. So I resorted to burning my self with the ends of cigarettes and cutting myself with a small switchblade.

"I...I...I'm sorry..." I manage to choke out to Soda and Darry. Soda is bawling in my shoulder and Darry is sitting beside us with tears in his eyes.

"Why, Pony, Why?"That was surprisingly Soda saying that.

"I...I don't know, I mean after the fire and everything, things just started to catch up to me. I mean, Johnny and Dally almost died in that church fire because of me and they wouldn't even hadto be there in the first place if Johnny hadn't of killed Bob to save me...and after the trial mom's and dad's deaths just caught up with me and I realized that they truly were gone and there was just so much pain, I couldn't stand to take it anymore. It was like everything was just crashing down around me, and I didn't know what to do anymore. I started thinking about Johnny's burns and how much that Soc really did bleed and I thought I deserved the same. At first it was only a little bit, and I kept telling myself I could stop when I wanted to but I just couldn't...It got to the point where I tried to kill myself...Dally caught me and made me go to the hospital...I made him promise not to tell you guys..." I realized by now the words were just streaming out of my mouth and I was crying like a baby, but I couldn't help it.

"Easy, Pony, We'll help you the best we can, but we need you to come to us when you feel like this. You could even go to anyone in the gang." That's Darry for you. Always cool, calm, and collected.

"I think I should tell the Gang, but I want it to be after we finish reading my theme..."

"Whenever you're ready Pony" Soda smiled, "Come on lets go on downstairs. They're probably frustrated were not back yet."

We all got up and walked down the stairs. Me and Darry sat down in our spots on the couch while Soda went to get us both some food. He came back after 5 minutes and sat next to me.

I release a breath. The sooner this is over with the better.

"Okay," says Tim, "I guess i'll read the next chapter."

**Sorry if you don't like the self-harm bit, but that's a really important topic for me because my best friend cuts herself and won't let anyone help her. Please leave a review and I'm really really sorry if this is triggering for any of you.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone thanks for all of the support and reviews...I like critcism way more than I should**

**Disclaimer:I no own the Outsiders, however, I do own the black Pug puppy snoring on my couch...That Stupid Bear!**

_Chapter 4_

_(Sodapop's POV)_

"Okay I guess I'll read" declares Tim.

**DALLY WAS WAITING for Johnny and me under the street light at the corner of Pickett and Sutton, and since we got there early, we had time to go over the drugstore in the shopping center and goof around. We bought Cokes and blew the straws at the waitress **

"PONYBOY MICHAEL CURTIS HAVEN'T WE TAUGHT YOU BETTER!?" yelled Darry.

"Yeah, but you also said to listen to Dally unless he told me to do something really bad." Pony pointed out.

Tim glared at them and then started reading again.

**And walked around eyeing things that were lying out in the open until the manager got wise to us and suggested we leave. He was too late, though; Dally walked out with two packages of Kools under his jacket. **

"I could've gotten more!" Two-bit boasted. Steve sighed and rolled his eyes, while throwing a can of beer at Two-bit's head. Two-bit, however, happily picked it up and started gulping down his guilty pleasure.

**Then we went across the street and down Sutton a little way to The Dingo. There are lots of drive-ins in town- the Socs go to The Way Out and to Rusty's, and the greasers go to The Dingo and to Jay's. The Dingo is a pretty rough hangout; **

"Really now Pony?" Steve snarked, "People just happen to get in fights and possibly murdered there for no real reason."

At the word 'Murder' Ponyboy pulled his legs up to his chest and started rocking back and forth on the couch staring at the carpet. I shot Steve an angry glare and tried to comfort my baby brother.

"Easy now Pone, it's going to be okay. Just relax and try to remmeber it was NOT your fault." I said in a calm, clear voice while wrapping my arms around him.

Pony eventually calmed down and muttered a small "thanks Soda" and motioned for Tim to keep reading. Steve on the other hand was feeling extremely guilty about the whole thing. I glanced at Johnny and his eyes were stone cold. Stupid Steve!

**There's always a fight going on there and once a girl got shot.**

"And how exactly would you know that?" I questioned Ponyboy.

"Well-um-a...There might be a chance that Dally took me there..." he trailed off.

Dally just stared directly into Darry's eyes, all the while, smiling innocently. Darry cursed under his breath.

**We walked around talking to all the greasers and hoods we knew, leaning in car windows or hopping into the back seats, and getting in on who was running away, and who was in jail, and who was going with who, and who could whip who, and who stole what and when and why. **

"Pffft," Dally scoffed, "Like anyone ever tells the truth about that stuff"

Tim glared at Dally and continued reading.

**We knew about everybody there. There was a pretty good fight while we were there between a big twenty-three-year-old greaser and a Mexican hitchhiker. **

"It's always a Mexican...always a Mexican..." Two-bit got his two bits in. I launched a pillow at his face and yelled,

"Two-Bit don't be filling my kid brother's with your crazy nonsense!"

Steve looked like he thought I was about to snap and kill everyone in the room and scooted away from me a little bit. I think I was even starting to scare Tim, but then again he's never seen me angry.

**We left when the switchblades came out, because the cops would be coming soon and nobody in his right mind wants to be around when the fuzz show. **

"At least he uses his head for something..." Darry muttered to himself. Pony glared at him and then turned to Johnny. Pony stared at johnny for a minute and motioned to Dally. Johnny cocked his head to the side, but after a few seconds his eyes lit up in understanding. I sometmes wonder how they know what the other is thinking all the time...It's just plain creepy.

I guess I wasn't the only one who noticed, because Two-bit sat up straighter and grinned from ear to ear. "Whatcha' talkin about over there. Pony! Johnny!"

I swear if looks could kill Two-Bit would be dead by the glare Pony just gave him.

**We crossed Sutton and cut around behind Spencer's Special, the discount house, and chased two junior-high kids across a field for a few minutes;  
**

"PONYBOY MICHAEL CURTIS, you are aware that those kids were probably the same age as you?!" Darry yelled.

"Possibly." Pony said with a wide grin.

"Don't get Mouthy Pony!" Darry shot back.

Two-bit, Steve, Johnny, Tim, and I just stared at them and rolled our eyes, while Dally burst out laughing.

**by then it was dark enough to sneak in over the back fence of the Nightly Double drive-in movie. **

"I thought I gave you money for that movie, Pone..." I said slightly confused.

Pony just glanced over at Dally and mumbled, "keep reading".

**It was the biggest in town, and showed two movies every night, and on weekends four- you could say you were going to the Nightly Double and have time to go all over town. **

"Really Pony, we never knew that!" Steve drawled sarcastically. I smacked him on the back of the head and he started pouting like a four year old.

**We all had the money to get in- it only costs a quarter if you're not in a car- but Dally hated to do things the legal way. He liked to show that he didn't care whether there was a law or not. He went around trying to break laws. **

"So very true..." Dally smirked, proud of himself.

**We went to the rows of seats in front of the concession stand to sit down. Nobody else was there except two girls who were sitting down front. Dally eyed them coolly, then walked down the aisle and sat right behind them. I had a sick feeling that Dally was up to his usual tricks, and I was right. **

"I know where this is going!" said Dally smiling slyly.

"This can't be good." groaned Tim.

**He started talking, loud enough for the two girls to hear. He started out bad and got worse. Dallas could talk awful dirty if he wanted to and I guess he wanted to then. I felt my ears get hot. Two-Bit or Steve or even Soda would have gone right along with him, just to see if they could embarrass the girls, but that kind of kicks just doesn't appeal to me.**

"Ponyboy, the Innocent." Teased Johnny. I stared at him with my mouth hanging open. I guess there's a lot of things I still don't know about Johnny. I'm pretty sure only Pony, and maybe Dally, actually knowsthe real Johnny.

"Shut Up Johnny..." Pony growls in a hushed tone. They look at each other and start having one of their silent conversations. Johnny has a creep smirk on his face, while Ponyboy has an angry pout on his face.

Just then the front door slams open, and in walks none other than Curly Shepard.

"There you are Tim, I've been looking all over for ya! Hey Ponyboy." Pony just looked up from Johnny and his conversation and gave Curly a grin and a wave and then continued to glare at Johnny.

"Hey Curly," I ask suddenly getting a idea, " Since I know something's up, Is Ponyboy an Innocent?"

He looks from me to Johnny to Ponyboy to Tim and then back to Pony. He smirks and says, "Nope, him an' Angel sure had a wild night!"

Did I just hear that right? Pony and Miss Angela Shepard...Oh My-

My thoughts were interrupted by Tim screaming, "YOU DID WHAT WITH MY BABY SISTER!?"

"Well you see Tim" He scrambled out, "...I-uh...I gotta go!" Then he ran pat me out the door. All the while Curly, Dally, and Johnny were laughing hysterically.

"Well whattya know he actually has-"

"STEVE!" I punched my best friend in the face. He rubbed his nose and grumbled about "brother complexes".

"Umm, you guys do know they just made out, right?" asked Curly.

r

" Well I guess I'll just read until he gets back." Muttered Tim, "Sit down Curly!"

**I sat there, struck dumb, and Johnny left hastily to get a Coke. **

"Who's the Innocent now, Johnny?" teased Dally.

**I wouldn't have felt so embarrassed if they had been greasy girls- I might even have helped old Dallas. **

" I guess Pone isn''t as innocent as we thought..." Muttered Darry.

**But those two girls weren't our kind. They were tuff-looking girls- dressed sharp and really good-looking. They looked about sixteen or seventeen. One had short dark hair, and the other had long red hair. **

"Hey, that sounds like Cherry and Marcia!" Said Two-Bit in a cheery voice.

"That's because it is." We all turn around to see Pony in the doorway.

"Hey Pone," I question "Why did you run away if you just made out with Angela?"

"Tim scares me. He's got green eyes and you know what I say about people with Green eyes..."

"WHAT IS YOUR PRROBLEM WITH GREEN EYES!" Tim shouted.

"Tim. Calm Yourself and read." said Dally in a dangerous voice.

**The redhead was getting mad, or scared. She sat up straight and she was chewing hard on her gum. The other one pretended not to hear Dally. Dally was getting impatient. He put his feet up on the back of the redhead's chair, winked at me, and beat his own record for saying something dirty.**

"Really Dally?" everyone says at the same time.

Dally just winks.

**She turned around and gave him a cool stare.  
"Take your feet off my chair and shut your trap." **

"OOH, the great Dallas Winston gets burned by a redhead!" taunts Two-bit. Dally leaps out of his chair and tackles Two-bit. Darry and Tim eventually pull them apart.

**Boy, she was good-looking. I'd seen her before; she was a cheerleader at our school. I'd always thought she was stuck-up.  
Dally merely looked at her and kept his feet where they were. "Who's gonna make me?" **

"Me." Whispers Johnny.

Everyone starts to laugh at the thought of Johnny making Dally do anything. I glance over at Ponyboy and see a serious expression on his face.

"Hey Pone' what's with the look on your face?" I ask light-heartedly.

"Just keep reading Tim." He ignores me.

**The other one fumed around and watched us. "That's the greaser that jockeys for the Slash J sometime," she said, as if we couldn't hear her.  
I had heard the same tone a million times: "Greaser... greaser... greaser." Oh yeah, I had heard that tone before too many times.**

Everyone shudders at their own personal dilemas with that tone.

**What are they doing at a drive-in without a car? I thought, and Dallas said, "I know you two. I've seen you around rodeos."  
"It's a shame you can't ride bull half as good as you can talk it," the redhead said coolly and turned back around. **

Two-Bit starts to say something, but Curly slaps a hand over hiis mouth and shushes him.

"Shut your trap Two-Bit and let Tim read!"

Everyone just stares at him. "What?" He asks.

"You hate listening to people read..." Tim explains slowly.

"This is just different...I guess." Curly says.

**That didn't bother Dally in the least. "You two barrel race, huh?"  
"You'd better leave us alone," the redhead said in a biting voice, "or I'll call the cops." **

"I was so scared...not!" brags Dally.

**"Oh, my, my"- Dally looked bored- "you've got me scared to death.**

"Told ya'" exclaims Dally.

**You ought to see my record sometime, baby." He grinned slyly. "Guess what I've been in for?"  
"Please leave us alone," she said. "Why don't you be nice and leave us alone?"  
Dally grinned roguishly. "I'm never nice. Want a Coke?" **

"Isn't getting her a coke being nice..." I wonder out loud.

**She was mad by then. "I wouldn't drink it if I was starving in the desert. Get lost, hood!"  
Dally merely shrugged and strolled off. **

Two-Bit suddenly stands up and scrutinizes Dally's face. "GET LOST HOOD!" He shrieks and then falls on the floor cackling.

**The girl looked at me. I was half-scared of her. I'm half-scared of all nice girls, especially Socs. "Are you going to start in on us?"  
I shook my head, wide-eyed. "No." **

"Why?" Steve asks.

"Just keep reading and you'll find out...but it does involve a drunk Two-Bit..." Pony answers nervously.

**Suddenly she smiled. Gosh, she was pretty. "You don't look the type. What's your name?"**

"Ooooh, the little pony has a crush!" teases Two-bit.

**I wished she hadn't asked me that. I hate to tell people my name for the first time. "Ponyboy Curtis." **

"What's wrong with your name?!" Me and Darry both demanded at the same time.

"Nothing...Just think about what other people think when they hear it..."

"And what exactly is that?!" Darry acked him angrily.

"He sounds like a pansy." Tim answered bluntly, sick of all the little games.

**Then I waited for the "You're kidding!" or "That's your real name?" or one of the other remarks I usually get.**

Pony looks down after this. I never really realized how much he was bullied in school. I frown. Things have got to change.

**Ponyboy's my real name and personally I like it. **

"You better." Darry mutters.

**The redhead just smiled. "That's an original and lovely name."  
"My dad was an original person," I said. "I've got a brother named Sodapop, and it says so on his birth certificate." **

"Getting witty there-ehhh Pone?" Two-Bit asks. Pony answers by throwing a pillow at his face.

**"My name's Sherri, but I'm called Cherry because of my hair. Cherry Valance."****  
"I know," I said. "You're a cheerleader. We go to the same school."  
"You don't look old enough to be going to high school," the dark-haired girl said.  
"I'm not. I got put up a year in grade school.**"

"Is it really that uncommon?!" Pony asks exasperated.

"For a greaser with his head in the clounds? Yes." Curly says with a big grin on his face, while Johnny nods his head. Pony pouted. I never really realized how good of friends the three of them are.

**Cherry was looking at me. "What's a nice, smart kid like you running around with trash like that for?" **

"Why, Yes, Tramp I am trash!" Dally says with a big smirk on his face.

"Dally! Language please!" Darry reprimands him.

"It's not like he doesn't hear worse in school!"

**felt myself stiffen. "I'm a grease, same as Dally. He's my buddy."  
"I'm sorry, Ponyboy," she said softly. Then she said briskly, "Your brother Sodapop, does he work at a gasoline station? A DX, I think?"  
"Yeah." **

"Why thankyou, Horseyboy!" Dally said and gave Poneyboy a hard rub on the head. I never really noticed, but he's nice to Poney. Well, nice for Dally at least.

**"Man, your brother is one doll. I might have guessed you were brothers- you look alike."**

Curly stood up and got right in my face and then looked at Ponyboy and then back at me again. "Well, Well looks like miss Soc was right you two do look alike."

"What are you talking about Curly I look nothing like Soda!" Pony exclaimed.

Everyone glanced at Ponyboy like he was crazy.

"What?" He aska confused.

"Shhhh. Pone. Shhhh." Johnny shushed him.

**I grinned with pride- I don't think I look one bit like Soda, but it's not every day I hear Socs telling me they think my brother is a doll.  
"Didn't he used to ride in rodeos? Saddle bronc?"  
"Yeah. Dad made him quit after he tore a ligament, though. We still hang around rodeos a lot.**

I winced at the memory. "That really hurt!"

**I've seen you two barrel race. You're good."  
"Thanks," Cherry said, and the other girl, who was named Marcia, said, "How come we don't see your brother at school? He's not any older than sixteen or seventeen, is he?"  
I winced inside. I've told you I can't stand it that Soda dropped out. "He's a dropout," I said roughly. "Dropout" made me think of some poor dumb-looking hoodlum wandering the streets breaking out street lights- it didn't fit my happy-go-lucky brother at all. It fitted Dally perfectly, but you could hardly say it about Soda. **

"I'll have you know I did not drop out I was banned from ever going 50 feet of the place!" Dally protested.

"Anyways! I never knew you felt like that Pone." I changed the subject.

He looked down and just gave me a small nod of his head.

**Johnny came back then and sat down beside me. He looked around for Dally, then managed a shy "Hi" to the girls and tried to watch the movie. He was nervous, though. Johnny was always nervous around strangers. Cherry looked at him, sizing him up as she had me. Then she smiled softly, and I knew she had him sized up right. **

"Who wouldn't?" chimed Two-Bit.

"HEY!" exclaimed Johnny.

"Just stating the obvious Johnnycakes.

**Dally came striding back with an armful of Cokes. He handed one to each of the girls and sat down beside Cherry. "This might cool you off."  
She gave him an incredulous look; and then she threw her Coke in his face. "That might cool you off, greaser. After you wash your mouth and learn to talk and act decent, I might cool off, too." **

"Ooooooooooooooooooh BURN!" chanted Steve and Two-Bit, Tim, and me.

**Dally wiped the Coke off his face with his sleeve and smiled dangerously. If I had been Cherry I would have beat it out of there. I knew that smile. **

"Scary even thinking about it." Shuddered Ponyboy.

**"Fiery, huh? Well, that's the way I like 'em." He started to put his arm around her, but Johnny reached over and stopped him.  
"Leave her alone, Dally." **

"WHAT?" Everyone but Johnny, Dally, and Ponyboy exclaimed.

I stared at Johnny, and he looked up and said, "Hi Sodapop."

**"Huh?" Dally was taken off guard. He stared at Johnny in disbelief.**

"Apparently Dally thought so, too." noted Tim.

**Johnny couldn't say "Boo" to a goose. Johnny gulped and got a little pale, but he said, "You heard me. Leave her alone." **

"Ponyboy?" Johnny asked.

"Yeah Johnny?"

"Did ya' really have to make me look like a wimp?"

"Yes. Yes I did." Pony replied calmly.

"Ok then, lets get back to the book!" Tim broke the silence.

**Dallas scowled for a second. If it had been me, or Two-Bit, or Soda or Steve, or anyone but Johnny, Dally would have flattened him without a moment's hesitation. **

"Dally have you been hitting Ponyboy?" Darry asked Dally in a low voice.

"Come on Dare it was only once." Pony tried to distract him.

"I DON'T CARE!"

"Don't yell at my kid brother ya' hear!" I broke in.

**You just didn't tell Dally Winston what to do. One time, in a dime store, a guy told him to move over at the candy counter. Dally had turned around and belted him so hard it knocked a tooth loose. A complete stranger, too. But Johnny was the gang's pet, and Dally just couldn't hit him. He was Dally's pet, too. Dally got up and stalked off, his fists jammed in his pockets and a frown on his face. He didn't come back. **

"WHY?!" everyone asked at once.

"He was a Soc." He stated calmly as if that was the answer to everything.

"Moving on!" I announced.

**Cherry sighed in relief. "Thanks. He had me scared to death."  
Johnny managed an admiring grin. "You sure didn't show it. Nobody talks to Dally like that."  
She smiled, "From what I saw, you do."  
Johnny's ears got red. I was still staring at him. It had taken more than nerve for him to say what he'd said to Dally- Johnny worshiped the ground Dallas walked on, and I had never heard Johnny talk back to anyone, much less his hero. **

"How do you notice so much?" Darry asked.

"What do you mean?" Pony asked confused.

All of a sudden Two-Bit stands up, screams, and then runs out the door.

**Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I'm gonna have to split chapter 2 into two chapters!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I no own 'The Outsiders' it belongs to S.E. Hinton!**

**_Ponyboy's_** **_POV_**

We all just sit there for a minute. Everyone's staring at the door. I'm pretty sure THAT just freaked everyone out worse than usual, and living life as a greaser can freak anyone out. Finally, Soda decided to break the silence.

"Well...Didn't see that coming..." He said awkwardly.

"AGGGGGGHHHHGGHHHGHGGH"

Everyone turned their heads to see Two-Bit running back inside with a bottle of booze. He stopped in front of me and just squatted down staring me in the eye. Keeping eye contact he drained the bottle of booze, and then proceeded to smash the bottle over my head.

Then everything went black...

* * *

When I woke up everything was fuzzy and my arms were cold. My arms were...cold...COLD. They shouldn't of been because I always wear long sleeves to hide the scars on my arms. I could hear people talking ever so softly, and decided to listen.

"-at kind of brothers are you!" I heard an enraged Two-bit growl. "Your own kid brother is suicidal, and you didn't even notice. What if ol' Dally over here wouldn't of found him? Huh? What would've you done then? And you! Why didn't you tell anybody that you found him half dead? Don't you think that would've been the smarter thing to do?B-"

"Two-Bit shut up. He's awake..." Steve broke in. By now I know everybody found out my little secret. Steve was probably happy about it...I can't take this anymore. Does anyone really actually care? I slowly stood up since my cover was broken. I felt tears gather in my eyes, but I couldn't let them see me cry. I refused to.

"Pone..." Soda started, but I didn't let him finish. I bolted out the door. and started running as fast as I could. I could hear them calling after me, but I didn't let that stop me. I wasn't thinking straight and probably had a concussion, but I didn't care. My eyes started to itch and when I rubbed them my hands came back wet. I knew I was crying freely by now, but I couldn't stop myself. As I reached the park I slowed down into a jog and didn't stop until I saw _it._

The fountain where I nearly died.

The place where Bob died.

I slid down until I was sitting on the ground, and wrapped my arms around my knees. The tears started flowing heavier as I stared at the Blood stain that was still on the cement. I cried and cried until i cried myself to sleep.

* * *

I again wake up, but this time it's to Soda holding me. "Soda." I yawn. "Why are you guys here?" They shouldn't be here. They don't care. they don't.

"Because we care about you. Even Steve." He says and then glances over at Steve. I see Steve roll his eyes and nod hesitantly.

"Now I know you're lying..." I mutter and push away from him.

"Ponyboy. You know that's not true. Me and Darry are both sorry we never noticed, Two-Bit is extremely sorry for busting a booze bottle over your head, Dally is sorry for not telling nobody about you being..., and Steve is sorry for being a jerk to you all the time. Please forgive us!"

"Only if I get a smoke before we go home." I whisper.

"Sure pony whatever you want." Soda replied tenderly.

* * *

"I'm sorry for not telling any of you. I just didn't know how to tell you. Everyone was just so happy, I didn't want to be the one to ruin that." I apologize sincerely.

"Is the love fest over, yet?" Asked Tim. With Curly snickering beside him.

I screamed and fell over on my chair. I forgot that they were still here. Well, I guess I really did have a concussion.

"Let's just finish the chapter..." I muttered.

"Gladly!" Tim replied with a crooked grin.

**Sorry it's taken so long for me to update. My laptop's been messed up and I had some personal issues to take care of. Please review and tell me how it was. The twenty fifth reviewer will get a one-shot dedicated to them.**


End file.
